is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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