I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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