The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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