Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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