do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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