So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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