i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
