and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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