im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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