I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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