Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
high people should be assigned attendants
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
