Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
