your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
