I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
