please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
