Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
