it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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