White coat. Heels.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
