every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
