Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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