All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
