I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
