I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
