Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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