Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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