How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Ladies don't puke and tell
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
