I'll bet she douches with gravy.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
