Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
