Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize