And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
