i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
