Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
