i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
