my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
