that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
