so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
