He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
