This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
