Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
