make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
