Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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