How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
there is puke in my bra ... again
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