Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
