one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize