I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
