I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
