now i know why i became what i already was.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
