My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
