bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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