I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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