her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
