oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
