The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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