i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize